And on the 8th Day...
Slept in again today. A little too much. I had an interview with a school this morning. My second appointment, I had to cancel the one earlier this week, so I HAD to get there today. The appointment was at 10, I didn't get up til 8:30.
This morning I could feel the withdrawals. I felt the exhaustion again. Too tired to breathe, too tired to move... been there before, I knew exactly what it was. But I knew I couldn't screw up and miss this interview so I got my ass in gear and was out the door on time.
Yesterday I took my liquid taper at noon, so I wanted to wait until then to take it again. But you never know, so I mixed it up and took it with me when I left for the interview. Good thing too!
Along with the exhaustion that kept getting worse as the drive to the interview went on, I started to notice my motor skills slowing down. I was practicing my interview answers in the car and noticed my speech getting slurred. Great. I'm going to show up to an interview with slurred speech. And how am I going to explain it? "No, I'm not drunk, I'm just dependent on prescription medication and am going through withdrawals." Yeah, that will work real well in an interview to get in to a medical school program! HA!
So I drank my poison of 97% my original dose at 10am instead of 12pm. Bummer. But it needed to be done. Afterwards, of course I felt pretty good. Not really tired and no more slurred speech. But I knew that it would wear off around 6pm so I would be in trouble.
Weeeellll NO. It started wearing off around 3pm. I started getting tired again. Fatigue! My god, Fatigue!! Ugh. It's like having the flu ALL. THE. TIME. Your body aches and you are exhausted. On a good note (kinda), I've lost 7 pounds since I started tapering! That's a start after the 30 that I gained after getting on this stupid ass pill.
So I am exhausted, I just lay around like a zombie watching Netfix. Every once in a while I will drink some gatorade, or a protein shake, maybe eat some soup or yogurt. I'm just sick. But again, this is a dream compared to a few days ago. I know it will get worse though. But it's ok, I'm still optimistic.
I also called the FDA today to report my side effects and withdrawal symptoms from this drug. The others in my support and recovery group will hopefully do the same. That's all we can do. The drug lords are protected, the supreme court ruled that if the FDA approves a drug you cannot go after the big pharma company that makes it. The end. So we will go after the FDA. Turns out, they know all about it already. They have had many calls about Benzo drugs, but I guess you need a few million people to complain and die before you put warnings out or discontinue the drug.
OH AND! James Sokolove...The Lawyer on TV that has commercials for people that have been injured or died from prescription drugs or medical neglect, "call me to represent you and get you to help and money you deserve" HAHAHA!!! I contacted him a while back. Yesterday I received a letter from his law firm stating that he couldn't help me with my claim, but I should get a second opinion. However, he "cares about people" and since he "cares so much, here is a 75% savings card for your next prescription purchase"!! Are you fucking kidding me? He is just as bad as the drug lords. He is making money from our pain too! The more drugs we get, the more money he makes from our suffering. And with that prescription savings card, I will be able to get more drugs for less money!! What an ass. Pass that info along.
But alas, I shall continue on. I'm exhausted and dizzy, bit nauseated. But I can handle it for now. Just gotta keep going.
*cheers*
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